The Tightrope of Friendly vs. Professional: Having a Good Professional Relationship with Clients
There is an old adage that says friendship and business don’t mix. Still, having a good professional relationship with your clients is important. How do you toe the lines between professional, friendly, and too friendly? The dance between being friendly and being friends, after all, is a delicate one. So how do you do it?
This photo should be called “What Not to Do at Work”!
Avoid discussing personal issues
The best way to do this is to keep personal issues as close to superficial as possible. It’s good to know some basic details about each other because it makes it easier for you to relate to one another. You don’t, however, need to know each other’s views on politics or relationships.
Obviously you don’t want to be fake, but there’s a difference between “Eh, yeah, it’s a rough day, but everything will be fine. Hey, let’s take a look at your account!” and “Geez, I just got off the phone with my mother. She’s been on my back all week about my bringing the kids to visit her over the holidays and it’s such a long and expensive trip and she’s so needy and every time we talk she yells at me. I thought that would stop when I moved out but it’s been 15 years and she still treats me like a kid! Anyway, let’s go over your invoice.”
Stay Positive
You might be having the worst day of your life, but your clients don’t need to know that. Further, your client may be having the worst day of her life but, even if you are a sympathetic person and a good listener, what your client is going through is none of your business. In fact, she might appreciate your positive and business-focused approach!
Stay Focused
Starting off your meetings and conversations with some personal small talk is good because it helps you both ease into the situation. Don’t let these conversations last more than a few minutes (ten, max). The longer you stay in the personal realm, the easier it is to cross that line and get too personal. Small talk it up a bit and then shift the focus to the reason for the meeting or the conversation. Your client will appreciate your interest in her life and that you respect the boundaries that exist in your professional relationship.
Sometimes a client will share with you something overly personal that pushes against that boundary. The best thing to do in this situation is acknowledge what she has told you, but keep your response as short and as positive as possible. A simple “Wow! That’s great!” or “Wow, that’s no good. I’m sorry,” and steering the conversation back toward the professional is the best thing to do. Remember, just because someone shares something with you doesn’t mean you have to share something with them!
Maintaining this level of professionalism can be tricky!
But What if You Want to Be Friends?
This is where things get tricky. You and your clients genuinely enjoy working together. You find reasons to have meetings and are taking longer and longer to get to the matters at hand because you’re having a good time sharing stories. You both talk about someday spending time together outside of work-based environments. What do you do?
This is truly your call – if you believe you can be friends with someone and maintain professionalism while talking about work matters, go for it. Set the boundaries firmly and early in your friendship: Friend time is for friend things; work time is for work things, and never the two shall meet.
If you worry that you might not be able to make those distinctions easily, you can choose to either back off on the personal stuff and maintain a professional relationship, or you can pursue the friendship and transfer that client to a colleague or another company. This way the client still gets their professional needs taken care of and you get to build a new friendship.
Remember: The professional relationship is an important and volatile one. You want your clients to like you, and finding that line between being friendly and being friends can be difficult. Give yourself a break if you slip up here or there. It takes time to learn how to balance the two well.
Erin Steiner is a freelance writer from Oregon. In addition to writing about small business topics, she also profiles professionals like Marc Shmuger and tackles topics in pop and geek culture.
